Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
