I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
