this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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