apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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