This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
