if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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