I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
