Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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