DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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