The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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