Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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