Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
