Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
