I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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