..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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