what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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