Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
