U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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