just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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