Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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