It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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