Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
