Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
