So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
