ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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