He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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