And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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