We're like a lot better than the average bears
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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