I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
