remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
