Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
