I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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