i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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