Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
