Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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