True but thats because hes a fetus.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
