Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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