So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
