matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
