so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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