Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
