So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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