"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
