therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize
