When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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