soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
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I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
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i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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