I think my vagina is haunted
I love having hate sex.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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