i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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