Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
