Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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