Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
