we have pet lesbian snakes
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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