it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
True strength comes from lack of pants
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
