Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize