I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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