where am i from again
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
