I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
